To be an Angel in Your Eyes
by Arluen
Summary: Following the events of the Avengers Loki is given a lot of time to himself to think. Feeling guilty and wondering about the consequences of some of his actions, he decides to go visit two of the people he feels most guilty about hurting and is surprised by what he discovers.


Author's Note: I do not own anything belonging to Marvel, and that includes characters and just about anything else remotely recognizable. Also, this is technically an element of a story I'm working on, but that isn't ready to be published. I've never gotten the nerve up to publish anything before, so we'll see how this goes. I had a lot of trouble with this because in its original format it was way to angsty for my liking. It worked out very well for me to re-write it as an independent entity, which actually turned out a heck of a lot better than I expected. I do not introduce 'the Woman' here, but you'll just have to accept that he met her at an earlier point in time and that she had quite an effect on him. Enjoy.

Loki stared morosely at the wall of his cell. It had been almost two weeks since the attack on Manhattan. No one seemed to be in much of a hurry to send him and Thor back to Asgard, and he was certainly not complaining, but he was bored. What injuries he had, had healed quickly. His plan had gone off without a problem, no one suspecting he had any part in the "positive" outcome. It was despicable, but no matter how he despised his once-brother and the Allfather for their betrayals, all he really wanted was their love and attention. Loki could not stomach the idea of the destruction of Asgard. That agent who had tried to prevent his escape from the flying ship was absolutely correct- Loki lacked conviction.

Loki had spent the entirety of the last week doing little more that staring at the various wall outside his glass cell with nothing more to entertain himself than what little magic he could do with his hands bound and his thoughts. Now that he was free of the Titan's control, Loki could finally see clearly again, and all he felt was shame. He would have to suffer the pain and humiliation of this defeat, this surrender in disguise. He doubted anyone would believe him if he told the whole truth anyway, so he wasn't even going to bother. For these reasons, and many Loki could as of yet not admit to himself, he was going willingly to his punishment. Such was the curse of his silver tongue.

Loki closed his eyes and sought the strings of seiðr deep inside him. His hands could still manage the motions of the spell to send him to the astral plane, bound as they were, but it was more difficult than he would have liked. First he sought his mother. He still felt a lot of guilt over disappointing her. She sat in her private garden on Asgard, starring sadly at the miniature waterfall at its center. She must have sensed his presence because she turned to look at him, but he shifted away, his name nothing more than a whisper on her lips following behind him. Next he sought the Woman. He refused to say her name. To even think it, hurt him more than he wanted to admit, even to himself. She had done something to him, some magic; she must have. That was the only reason he could fathom that would cause him to feel so much guilt over hurting her. He wasn't sure where she was, but he wanted to look upon her glorious visage one last time.

When he finally found her, it was not where he might have expected her to be, particularly not after seeing her in all her splendor at the gala in Germany. She was fast asleep in some sort of cottage; a tiny place, only three rooms, made, it seemed, of mud with thatch reeds for a roof. It didn't seem she needed much more space though. The furnishing was rather sparse, but everything had a purpose, and somehow it still felt cozy, homey. He drew closer to her bed and decided it must be hot wherever she was. Sweat had gathered between her shoulder blades and ran in rivulets down her beautiful face. In the astral plane, he could only interact with her environment through sight, sound, and the illusion of touch. A quiet whimper caught Loki's attention. He walked to the other side of her bed and realized she was not alone in it. Curled up beside her were two small children, a girl and a boy. The resemblance to the Woman was uncanny. They were just as beautiful as their mother.

Loki did not know what to do with the swell of emotion that bubbled up inside of him at the image. He had always loved children, though he was not allowed to see his own often. They were so innocent and in love with life, their minds like bright lights shining through storms of ignorance and hate. The fact that she so obviously loved her children did not surprise him; he had heard it in her voice when she spoke of telling them the myths about his people. It did, however make him feel all the worse about what he had done to her, how he had hurt her, and how she now despised him. His memory flashed to the look of fear and horror he had seen on her face before she entered the mortal vehicle with the man whose eye he'd taken, her friend.

Loki rose and turned away from the bed, unable to cope with the disgust he felt with himself. His mother and this Woman, who really didn't know much about him at all, had both treated him with a measure of kindness and respect that no other had gifted him with. He had repaid them both with violence and suffering, and for that he would not, could not, allow himself to be at peace. A small hand reached out for him as he made to leave, but it passed through him since he was little more than an image here. He looked back, surprised to see a beautiful pair of golden eyes ringed in blue staring up at him in awe, not a shadow of fear in their depths. It took him a moment to realize it was not the Woman's eyes he looked into, but those of her daughter. He would swear they were exactly the same.

"Are you a angel? Were you sen to watch ofer us?" Her quiet voice was no more than a whisper on the breeze. Loki really had no response to her question. He was certainly not one of the angels from the Christian religion- far from it. Nevertheless, he knelt down by the bed and returned her gaze.

"No, little one, I'm not." She frowned at him and shook her head.

"You pwetty enough to be a angel." He smiled. She was so pure, so honest and without guile.

"I'm not an angel, little one."

"My mommy says we all has a guardian angel who watch us while we sleeps."

"Your mother is a smart lady. I'm not an angel, but I am here to protect you." He paused as he recognized that for the truth it was.

"An Awec and mommy too?" She looked up at him as though it was the most important question in the world, and to her child's heart, it probably was.

"Yes, your mother and your brother too."

"Okay." She smiled brightly, and it reminded him so much of _her_ smile, the smile he'd never see on her face again, not whilst looking at him at any rate, that his chest ached. He smiled sadly at her. "Why you cwying?" Loki reached up to touch his cheek. When he pulled his hand away he saw tears glistening on his fingers.

"I don't know, little one." And he truly didn't. The feelings roiling inside him were too alien for him to even comprehend.

"Julianne?" a voice like chimes on a spring morning whispered into the dark. Loki pressed his fingers to his lips in a motion for her to be quiet even as he motioned the spell to make him invisible. "Who are you talking to, baby?"

"Our guardian angel, mommy."

"You saw an angel, sweetie?"

"Uh-huh. He were jus here. He say he weren't a angle, but he were pwetty just like you say angels is, and he say he here to pwotect us."

"That's great, baby. You can tell mommy all about him in the morning. Go back to sleep, sweetie." She kissed her daughter's head and they both lay back down. Loki watched a moment more before returning to his own body. He realized as he rolled over to stare at another wall of his cell that there were silent tears running down his cheeks.

"I will do my best, child, to protect you and one day, maybe I'll earn your mother's forgiveness." Loki hoped dearly he would not be foresworn, that he could keep this one promise. Maybe one day he would be able to stand proud before them like a true prince of Asgard.


End file.
